Blessings Soul Family!

Let’s keep the conversation going with this series on “Better Practices in the Spiritual Industry”. As I mentioned in the first installment HERE, I am sharing my perspective and it is meant to add a specific spiritual consideration to the work that is already being done by other BIWIOC (Black or Indigenous Women of Color). Please let me know other topics you’d like me to tackle and I’ll try my best to dive into them in future installments. And of course, share this with others who you think would benefit from this. I’m addressing one topic for now as it is very layered:

Cord cutting

Cutting Cords

Cutting cords is a hot topic in spiritual/new age circles and for good reason. Cords represent the etheric connections we have with others--whether family, friends, or romantic partners. Normally, we only think about cords in terms of the “negative” however, cords exist in a “positive” context too. It’s how we share energy and establish deeper connections with another, e.g. there are cords between a mother and her child, between marriage partners, etc. This exchange can occur in one or more chakras but usually the first four are the primary ones where these can be found. The cords can also exist at different dimensions of our auras. For example, a past life cord will be in a different dimensional layer compared to a present incarnation one.

Where things can get tricky is when we are choosing to no longer be in a relationship with a particular individual for whatever reason. The physical separation occurs but that does not automatically mean that the energetic one releases. Sometimes it does happen naturally on its own, but more often than not you’ll have to actively engage with the clearing process.

Setting intentions to release a connection is not enough.

Writing their name on a piece of paper and burning it is not enough.

Lighting a candle is not enough.

The strongest connections will be between blood relatives (e.g. parent/child), legally bound relationships (e.g. marriage), and romantic partners (e.g. sexual exchanges). If you keep having dreams about a person or if they’re constantly popping up in your life in a destructive way (barring extreme circumstances of course!), then that’s a big indication that you have an active cord connection. Note: they can still be showing up in your life but the “charge” between you or their power over you dissolves if the energy (i.e. karma) has been cleared.

Unhealthy cords between family members tend to be found in the root or solar plexus chakras, the sacral chakra for past lovers, and the root and sacral with marriages. This is a BIG generalization though as it very much depends on the dynamics of the relationship, unhealthy behavior patterns, or trauma experiences. And again, it’s a whole other game when dealing with past lives or ancestors.

Cord cutting is not the same as banishment. For greater specificity, I suggest thinking of cord cutting as "cord clearing" or "karma balancing" between you and another/group. If a deeper connection is there (e.g. blood relatives), then they're not "going away". You're simply adjusting the terms of the soul contract to have a different experience on your end--which all parties have the right to do at any time. The DNA bond remains. If they’re not a blood relative, then you’re less likely to encounter them again unless of course you have children together or share social circles, etc; this would be more of an actual dissolving of a cord with that person since you’re not bound by blood. Of course, if you have deep soul ties with an individual from other incarnations or have shared service work for the collective (i.e. you both are lightworkers), then that connection might not truly be severed.

Cord cutting must happen at all levels of being--in this order--to be successful:

1) physical,

2) emotional,

3) mental, and

4) spiritual.

For the physical this would mean getting rid of any item that is connected between you and that person, whether it’s their property that’s been left behind, a gift to you, a shared purchase, whatever. Every item. Items specifically for children do not count. If an ex is supporting you financially, then that has to go too. Child support does not count as a cord since it’s a contract with the souls of the children and the custodial parent is the executor of the financial resources for their guardianship. Legal separation still counts as a cord in the spirit. An actual dissolving of the marriage contract (i.e. divorce) must occur in order for a cord to be released. This means that if you’re dating someone who is only separated (whether legally or not *cough*), then you’re engaging with a married person and that won’t be fun karma to balance out, trust me. (And as a side note, please allow for a full 12 months AFTER a divorce is official before seriously dating if you want a potential new relationship to last. That spiritual energy off of a divorce is MESSY as it also involves the lineages, other etheric connections, and the cord(s) to the marriage partner. You’ll have the greatest success when a full year cycle has passed. Thank me later.)

For the emotional and mental this would mean doing the work of healing whatever needs to be healed in relation to this person. Do the psychotherapy, the journaling, the group sessions, the retreats….dive deep and take as much time as needed for this. The end of a relationship is a death so please respect the full grieving process.

For the spiritual this would mean using metaphysical tools to clear the energy. You could use an energy healing modality (such as Reiki) OR crystals (I go into specifics ones to use in the Lightworker Incubator) to clear the root of the cord in the base of the chakra(s) which is in the spinal column. The spine is where the seed of chakra cords take hold. On that note if you’re doing chakra clearing and you’re not focused on the spine and/or the different dimensions, then you’re only doing surface work and that’s probably why you aren’t healing the issue.

Quick recap:

A cord will NOT clear fully if the physical, emotional, and mental work has not been done.

A cord will NOT clear fully if you’re not getting down into the root/spine.

If you are not ready to do all of these things, then just know that you’re not ready to “cut the cord” and that’s ok. But be honest about it! Spirit upholds what you consent to and you actually can’t lie to your Self. Better to wait until you’re ready. Understand that mentally you may be done but if you’re hanging on emotionally or if their energy still has access to your life because of a physical object, then on that level you’re giving consent. There must be a clean sweep across the board. All of you must be in alignment. The clearest way to know if you’re ready to let go fully is if there is peace. (Remember, no one gets to “win” with Spirit.)

If you are ready, then you can leverage the dark days of the moon (i.e. the days leading into a new moon as previously mentioned) to do the energetic clearing. However, you don’t have to do it on those days. But if it’s a particularly tough or toxic connection, then this strategic timing can be super helpful and I highly recommend it.

You can incorporate ceremony or candlework in conjunction with your energy clearing as a way to provide added support and/or protection during the process. Just know that the practical energy work is still the priority for actually clearing the cord. You must work with your own aura field ultimately.

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That’s it for now, but feel free to let me know some other topics you’d like me to address at info@innersunalchemy.com